There’s a stop sign down the street. Someone spray painted the word “fags” on it. I’m not quite sure what they want to stop them from doing. They already can’t get married, procreate, adopt kids, get survivor or tax benefits. Dang. What else do you wanna take? Unfortunately, I think they want them to stop existing. That’s nuts. Asking us straight folks to stop making babies, vandals? You crazy.
Maybe I’ll go paint a comma on it and take “fags” back. So it will be all “Stop, fags”. Yeah. I’m talkin to you! Everyone that stops at this sign is a fag. Everyone. So now it’s not derogatory, ’cause you’re talkin about yo’self. Boom. Now fag doesn’t mean homophobic slur. Now it means, “safe driver”. Fags for life. Don’t text and drive.
In all seriousness, I wonder if Martinsville has a mayor’s action line. I’d like to get a new stop sign down at the corner.