Working on a serious one

So…uh…I have something very serious to write.  I’ve got demons in my past, and I have thoughts about them.  I’ve been working on this post for years, getting it out, saying what I want to say.  But I’ve been afraid.  I can’t be afraid anymore.  I’m not healed, and that’s in part because I’ve bottled it all up. 

 

I also have other, less serious, stuff that I’m working on.  Including Elementary Homework, which was inspired by the Big Man’s recent homework hilarity.  If your kids have have turned in hilarious homework, please scan and submit it to karbaum@umail.iu.edu or send me the story.

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Keep on the Sunny Side of Liiiiiife

It’s me birthday!  I’m couponing and headed to the grocery store with a full day of root canal tomorrow!  WOO HOO!

So what, though.  I woke up to a smiling baby, and now she is hilariously laughing at her reflection in the window.  Also, I got 50 Swagbucks for my birthday, and that put me over 450, which means I get $5 in Amazon money, and THAT puts me at $15, which is enough to get a book I wanted.  WOOT!  Also, I have my Scentsy Re-Launch party on Wednesday, and I get to watch and learn from a Director.  AND I get to get my hair and nails done for my birthday AND we have it in the budget where I can get a new dress.  Life is grand.

In other news, pretty sure I gave birth to a puppy.  Like, right now, she’s crawling around the living room with a toy in her mouth.  It’s naptime, so I want her to go into her room.  If I pick her up and carry her there, she will cry.  So, since she’s really a puppy, I’m going to try to leave a trail of treats (Cheerios) and see if she will follow them.  Interesting.

Lessee…what else.  I’m officially weaned off of breastfeeding, so that’s weird.  The Bot still isn’t a year, so we’re using donor milk (Thank you, Super Amber!)  It’s really bittersweet.  I hated breastfeeding.  The Bot hated breastfeeding.  I hated pumping even more.  Yet, the Bot loves breast milk.  Go figure.  She’s, like, a baby.  I wonder if puppies like breast milk….

Anyway, breastfeeding was something that I really cared about.  I wanted that relationship with the baby, and it never happened.  Total bummer.  I need to find a different way to bond with the kid.  She hates snuggling and cuddling, too, since she’s become mobile.  Maybe we’ll bond over cream cheese or A1 sauce or something.  Girlfriend doesn’t even like SHOES!  Other than to eat them, of course.  Maybe she’s not even my kid!  I am going to demand a maternity test.  I’m calling Maury.

 

Update:  The Cheerio path totally worked.  Puppy.

Seven Things You Never Thought You’d Say…

Parents have to say the weirdest stuff sometimes. Here’s a list of 7 things that I have said that I never thought I’d say. Sometimes, more than once.

1. Please don’t use the Unforgivable Curses on your sister.

2. No, you were not named after Luke Skywalker.

3. Yes, tsunamis are real. No, you can’t go stand on the beach and wait for one.

4. Please get that* out of your nose.

5. The cat is not a pony.

6. You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up. Wait…did you say Darth Vader?

7. I know you don’t want to go to the grocery store with me, but age 4 is not old enough to stay home alone. No, Jesus cannot babysit you.

*could be a plethora of objects